i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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