Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
