I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
