Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
