Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
