I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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