Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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