So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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