I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
