just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize