my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
