I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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