I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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