She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
