i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
