Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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