Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
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