Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
