sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize