Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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