im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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