You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
