Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
