after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
