Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You can't special order awesome
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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