Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize