don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize