Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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