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Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
