Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize