just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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