Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize