She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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