Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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