Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
