I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
