I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
