he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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