Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
