I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
