Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize