ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
