But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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