I don't think brook has ever known best
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
