Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
