Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
