A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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