I'm lost and stupid without you.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
