You're so nebulous sometimes
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Randomize
