he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
