Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I want her autograph on my taint
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
