She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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