This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
