Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
