girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize