Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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