Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
