I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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