i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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