did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
