yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
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