does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
