What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
