I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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