More tranny stories later!
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
