yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
When are your genitals available?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
