Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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